"Explain it to me again," he said, still making laps across the small space. "Slowly."
Nadene took a deep breath and blew it out in a sigh. "Morrigan says - "
"Oh, Morrigan says," he muttered, the exact same way he had the first time she'd run through it, and Nadene just stared at him flatly. "Sorry. Go on."
"Morrigan says," Nadene repeated. "She knows of a ritual that will stop the Archdemon from possessing the Grey Warden that kills it."
"And that ritual entails...?"
"It really feels like you actually understand this and you're just being an ass," Nadene said. "You think this is easy for me? You think this is a conversation I want to be having?"
"I know it's not a conversation I want to be having." He sat heavily on the bed next to her, running his hands down his face. "You're really alright with this?" he asked quietly.
Nadene's chest tightened. "That doesn't really matter anymore, does it?"
He reached out with one hand, hesitating before wrapping it around hers. "It matters to me." A gentle squeeze. "I've hurt you enough, I think."
Nadene clenched her jaw, swallowing hard around the lump in her throat. Crying right now wouldn't help anything, no matter how badly she wanted to.
"If it means you survive the fight." It came out as a whisper. "But if you don't want - I'm not going to - "
He squeezed her hand tighter, held it there longer. "I know. I know you wouldn't." A dry, mirthless laugh. "And I have to say, I'm not terribly keen on the idea of either of us going down in this fight. But..." He looked over at her. "Is this really the cost? A child?" His fingers laced through hers, and after a moment she leaned sideways to rest her head on his shoulder. It hurt, this closeness, talking like they had a future to think of.
"I won't force you to do anything," she whispered. "I told Morrigan I wouldn't. And she accepted that, for a wonder."
"Did she now?"
"It's what makes me think she might actually be telling the truth." She turned her face against Alistair's arm. "You survive. The Archdemon doesn't just revive in the nearest available darkspawn. It sounds like a world I'd like to live in."
Alistair tilted his head to rest on top of Nadene's, and they just sat there that way for a long while.
"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm so, so sorry."
"For what?"
"I just can't seem to stop hurting you," he said. Nadene tried to press even closer, wrapping her free hand around his arm and squeezing tightly.
"Survive," she whispered. "Survive, exist somewhere in the world where I know you're alive and happy. That's all I ask."
"Well." He laid his hand over hers, fingertips brushing her wrist. "Alive, anyway."
