Yosuke paced back and forth on the hill overlooking town. If it hadn't been for the fence he might have fallen right over the edge, because while his eyes were on his feet his mind was a million miles away. He'd asked Souji to meet him around sunset, and in hindsight he should have picked a more specific time. It was indeed sunset, but sunset could last for hours and if he had to wait up here for hours he'd pace a hole in the ground and he didn't know how stable this overlook was.
He stopped in place, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. He was panicking for no reason. Souji hadn't let him down yet, and if he didn't show up there would be a perfectly good reason for it. However there was no way Yosuke was going to get up the courage to do this twice, so he would really like it if -
"Yosuke." He whirled around at the sound of his name, shoulders sagging with relief as Souji parked his bike next to Yosuke's. "Sorry I'm late; Dojima was home for once and Nanako insisted we all eat dinner together."
Perfectly good reason, Yosuke's mind echoed. "Yeah, no, that's fine." He ran a hand through his hair. "It's still technically sunset."
Souji smiled, and the way it lit up his whole face made something in Yosuke's gut twist almost painfully.
"What did you want to talk about?" Souji walked up to join Yosuke at the fence, looking out over the town. His expression softened as he stared down at it, something like affection in his eyes, and if Yosuke didn't start talking he was just gonna stare at him until the sun disappeared.
"You were the first person who didn't hate me, y'know." Souji looked over, eyebrows knitting together with concern. "At the beginning. Everybody hated me because they hated my dad because they hated Junes, and I was the most available target - anyway. Even Chie and Yukiko tolerated me at best. It was just….social survival." He wrapped his arms around himself. "I don't blame them."
"But then you showed up." A soft smile touched his own face as he looked down at the town they'd saved. "And I fully expected you to hate me, too. It would have been easiest, y'know? New kid not wanting to rock the boat, just blend in and skate through."
"But now I know that's not your style." He looked back over at Souji. Even after everything Yosuke couldn't always read his expressions, and the look Souji was giving him was utterly inscrutable. "You have never given a single fuck what anybody thinks of you. No, that's not right." He corrected himself before Souji could. "You care what the people who matter think of you. That was my problem - I didn't have anybody who mattered, so I wanted anyone to think well of me. And then there was you." He smiled, knowing it was trembling but unable to stop it - he was trembling all over. "And you were my friend. And we went through…so much together, so much incomprehensible, life-threatening, world-threatening bullshit - but I wouldn't trade it for anything. I would do all of it over again, not just because it saved the world but because you were there, right beside me the whole time, and I - I just - "
No, no no no, don't you chicken out now -
But he was. He could feel the initiative leaving his body even as the words tried to form on his tongue. If he didn't say it now he would never get another chance and he still couldn't do it.
"I just wanted to thank you," he said, all the energy draining out of him. "Thank you for being my friend."
He stared down at Inaba again. He didn't want to look at Souji. He was too busy kicking himself, calling himself everything he could think of and then making up a few more just for good measure. After all this time, he was still just a coward, and he was terrified that if he looked at Souji he'd see that reflected in his face, see the disappointment in his eyes like he knew what Yosuke had failed to do for the ten thousandth time.
"Can I make a confession?"
Yosuke risked a sideways glance, surprised. Souji was looking down at the town, too, not at him.
"Yeah, of course." One of us should.
Souji chewed on his lip for a long moment before he spoke. "At first…when I first came here…" He laughed a little, the sound trailing off in a sigh. "I kind of just really thought you were cute."
Yosuke's brain screeched to a halt. He turned to face Souji fully, staring at him in profile. Souji's hands were shoved deep in his pockets, one of his few nervous habits.
"What?"
"Yeah. I, uh. I was kind of hoping everybody was avoiding you because you…" He tipped his face skyward, staring at the canopy above him. "I kind of hoped it was because you…would be open to the idea of kissing me? And that kind of…fucked up thing people do, when they know that about someone, and they act like assholes because of it?"
Yosuke blinked. Swearing was Souji's other nervous habit, besides the pockets thing, and the fact that he was doing both at the same time was making Yosuke more nervous by association.
He thought you were gay, his mind finally processed. No - he hoped you were gay. Because he thought you were cute. He hoped you were both gay and cute because -
Something in his brain shorted out. He couldn't finish the sentence. Even in his own mind, even with his own deflated hope swelling back into his chest, he couldn't put the final pieces together because that would make it real, and that was too much to hope for.
"Anyway." Yosuke had been staring too long; Souji's face had shut down. "I just figured…since I was leaving soon, and you asked me up here, that I'd…get that off my chest. I know now how you feel about…that, so. My mistake." He sighed. "For what it's worth…I'm glad you were my friend, too, Yosuke. Everything else aside…I'm glad we were friends."
He turned away, presumably to head back to his bike and then back home and then never speak to Yosuke again, and between that and the past tense the sheer terror that ran through Yosuke finally propelled him forward to catch Souji around the arm.
"What - "
Yosuke didn't let him finish the thought, barely let him finish the word as he pulled Souji around to face him. Pulled him around, pulled him forward, caught his face in both hands and pulled him into a kiss.
It wasn't a great kiss, however dramatic of a gesture it was. Their heights were slightly off and he didn't exactly have a chance to aim, so it was more a painful bumping of noses than anything else. But somewhere in there his lips found Souji's, and he held it for as long of a moment as he could before pulling back. He and Souji stared at each other from inches away, Souji's eyes wide with - surprise? Disgust? Probably not disgust, given what he'd just admitted to Yosuke, but the tremor of fear running through him refused to discount the possibility.
Then Souji gave a murmured "oh, thank God," and dragged Yosuke back in by the front of his shirt to do it properly this time.
"I should get back," Souji murmured, making absolutely no effort to move.
"Yeah, me too." Yosuke similarly stayed right where he was. If he moved the moment would break, and it might all reveal itself to have been a dream.
But then Souji did sit up, gently turning Yosuke's face towards his to catch his lips in a slow, sweet kiss, and Yosuke decided he couldn't conjure up anything this good.
"We gotta go," Souji whispered against his lips, and Yosuke tilted his head forward to rest their foreheads together.
"Promise me this isn't the last time," he said quietly. Souji lifted their joined hands up between them, pressing them against his chest.
"Absolutely not," he said, and the strength in his voice radiated through Yosuke, bolstering him. "This is just another first."