Critical Role is a Dungeons and Dragons actual-play show, meaning they play D&D in real-time for people to watch. The players here are a group of veteran voice actors, including Matthew Mercer (Cole Cassidy, Yusuke Kitagawa), Travis Willingham (Roy Mustang, Thor), Laura Bailey (Lust, Rise Kujikawa), Liam O'Brien (Gaara of the Sand, Akihiko Sanada), Ashley Johnson (Ellie from The Last of Us, that one waitress in the first Avengers movie), Taliesin Jaffe (Basil Hawkins, Blanka), Sam Riegel ('03 Donatello, golden!Teddie), and Marisha Ray (Laura S. Arseid, ultimax!Margaret). (Yes I DID list Persona credits wherever applicable, why wouldn't I.) The point is they all have insane CVs. They've been streaming since 2015; but in 2019 they launched a Kickstarter to fund a 22-minute animated special. The Kickstarter broke 11 million dollars over 45 days and led to a full season being picked up by Amazon.
Y'know. As you do.
The series was expanded to cover the entirety of the Vox Machina campaign, including a two-part premiere covering part of the campaign pre-stream. As of this writing seasons 1 and 2 have aired, with season 3 still in production and an animated adaptation of the second campaign, Mighty Nein, being teased.
Having said all that, let's jump into tonight's episode of The Legend of Vox Machina.
We open on a wide shot of the world of Exandria, with voiceover by dungeon master and voice of Everyone Else in the World, Matthew Mercer. Specifically we are seeing the Kingdom of Tal'dorei, as narrator!Matt waxes poetical about the history of the area, with gods and titans, magic and adventure, and a great evil that overtook the land to be battled by a brave group of heroes.
These Lord of the Rings looking-ass motherfuckers.
"Hold fast!" not!Gandalf cries. "The beast approaches!" Everyone readies their weapons. A great shadow looms through the storm. A bigass rock falls from the sky and squashes the dwarf flat.
The wizard is vivisected, the top of his head lands on the halfling, he and the elf get tail-smashed, and not!Aragorn gets charred to a crisp by a lightning bolt.
"Well," sighs narrator!Matt.
Smash cut - literally, as a pair of fists slam down onto a table, knocking over someone's mini. A large, bearded blond man yells "Fuuuuuuuck!", which is a hell of an opening line for David Tennant.
"How the fuck did they get David Tennant??" Well you see [pulls out my red string conspiracy board] David Tennant voiced Scrooge McDuck in the 2017 DuckTales series, many episodes of which were directed by Sam Riegel, player and voice of Scanlan Shorthalt. In fact, Sam is so prolific in his directorial career, particularly with Disney, that I play Six Degrees of Sam Riegel whenever there's a guest on the stream. (Also David Tennant was apparently very enthusiastic when he learned how the entire thing came about, which makes me smile a lot.)
Big Buff Blonde David Tennant goes on to implore "Sovreign Uriel" to let him take the army to fight the Whatever It Is. Across the map table another advisor says no, they should capture it, and use it as a weapon. A blonde woman calls him "Sir Fince" and disagrees, because as of right now it is in fact still a Whatever and not anything they have any information on. The Sovreign says "Lady Allura" is right.
(Sir Fince is Tony Hale, Allura is Indira Varma, and Sovreign Uriel is Khary Payton. This cast is insane, y'all.)
Uriel says they have to send more mercenaries, to get better intel. Fince says they've sent everyone: "The Torian Butchers are butchered, the Murder Hobos are murdered, and the Death Dealers are all dead!" Uriel whips around and yells to find someone worthy. "Do not rest until you bring me the greatest band of mercenaries in all of Tal'Dorei!" And then he slams his hand on the table and knocks over some minis. Also rude.
A frankly fancy-looking pub, ext. night. Cries of "Chug! Chug! Chug!" in the distance. Inside, we see a group sitting around a table chugging fantasy-standard Tankards of Ale (and one guy in the background with a snooty wine glass). A big gray-skinned dude wearing none shirt with left tattoos slams his cup down and starts celebrating his victory: meet Grog (Travis Willingham).
all flex no dex
Snooty Wine Glass declares that "Grog wins. Again." This is Percy (Taliesin Jaffe). That's not his full name; we'll get into it later.
If I drink snobbishly enough maybe people will think I'm not with them.A male half-elf (Vax'ildan; Liam O'Brien) asks why they always play drinking games with a guy twice their size. A suspiciously similar female half-elf (Vex'ahlia; Laura Bailey) says it's because "it's the fastest way to get drunk, obviously". A ginger half-elf who is very clearly at least twice the legal limit insists that she's fine, really, they should go to another aaand she's vomiting. This is Keyleth (Marisha Ray). She's just like that. A gnome with white hair and a full set of armor comforts her, though she is not immune to the perils of sympathetic vomiting. This is Pike Trickfoot (Ashley Johnson).
Three half-elves and a gnome walk into a bar
A...half-orc? I'm assuming? Walks by, stepping in the puke pile and shoves Keyleth, calling her a bitch. Grog jumps up to defend her. "You watch it, Dicknose!" Pike talks him down: "We don't waste our time on talking assholes, remember?" (Dicknose is voiced by Matt Mercer, as part of his role as Everyone Else in the World.) Vex calls for a round for "Vox Machina, the greatests mercenaries in all the realm!" This makes Dicknose laugh, needling them about how useless they are. (Dicknose is sharing a table with a rottweiler-man, easily the coolest character design in here.) Vax goes over, saying they're not looking for trouble, a message that is slightly undercut by him stabbing his knife into their table. Dicknose grabs him by the collar. "Look at your scrawny ass - too weak to tickle your own pickle." Vax bats his eyelashes, laying his hand sensually on Dicknose's bicep. "Are you offering to help?" This is how we're introducing Vax's status as a Bisexual Disaster and I don't know how I feel about that.
Dicknose has a momentary gay panic, ending with hearty "fuck you!" Vax: "Aww, I'm only asking you to give me a hand." This is Grog's cue to swoop in and chop Dicknose's hand clear off. I want to know when they planned this and why, because Grog is absolutely not smart enough to ad lib that kind of thing. Dicknose yells for the rest of his crew to kill Vox Machina, which starts a bar brawl, because of course it does.
This fight has everything! Vax finishing someone's drink as he gets thrown into the bar, Percy's fantasy gun misfiring1, Vex tripping over Pike, Vax casually pickpocketing someone, a scene involving Keyleth and the rottweiler man that I mysteriously blacked out for2, BEAR!
Trinket, Vex's ranger companion (voiced by Matthew Mercer because no one else was up to the daunting task of portraying the Bestest Boy).
The only thing this fight doesn't have is Scanlan, because he's in the other room seranading a pink lady while they're both naked in bed.
Scanlan Shorthalt, ladies and gentlemen.
(Sam has a genuinely lovely singing voice, he just uses it for things like this.) Percy gets thrown in through the wall; Scanlan is fine with him joining in, he just needs to ask before he crashes the party. Percy tells him to put some pants on and come help them, but party's over as the bartender emerges from the cellar and literally has a cow.
As designed by Critters and voiced by Mason Alexander Park
And their non-cow form, just in the interest of fairness.
They give the room a bollocking, demanding to know what that gnome is doing with their daughter. ("It's probably best you don't know," Scanlan quips as he pops up from between the pink lady's legs.) When they ask who's paying for the damage to the bar, Vex tries to offer Vox Machina's services to track down the culprits, while slipping the money Vax lifted earlier back to him behind her back. The tavern keeper is having none of it, looming over her as a big cow before throwing them out into the street (Scanlan's clothes following after).
Keyleth mopes that they've been banned from every tavern in Emon, Vax adding that they have no job, no money, and nowhere to live. Percy points out that if Grog hadn't decapitated their last employer they might not be in this situation. ("I apologized, didn't I?" he says, dropping Dicknose's hand into a pouch.) Pike says if they can't get by doing odd jobs and goblin murder, maybe they could try doing something good for a change. The group turns this down, Percy saying that "ethics are a luxury we currently can't afford". Keyleth wonders if maybe they're not meant to do this, and maybe they shouldn't be a group at all3.
Scanlan leaves the pity party to take a leak, for some reason choosing to do so directly next to someone putting up a flier on a bulletin board. When he sees what's on the flier he moves to get a closer look, ending up pissing right on the poor guy's leg. (Piss Guy also voiced by Matthew Mercer. He is unfortunately not credited as such, which I feel was a huge oversight on their part.) He runs the flier back to the others - it's a call for mercenaries! His pants fall down during this revelation. Vex covers Trinket's eyes.
The next morning they approach the castle, brandishing the Help Wanted ad as a pass inside. Trinket, however, is not allowed, which is clearly discrimination and they should sue. Inside, the Sovreign is telling "Lady Kima" that it is imperative that "Lord and Lady Briarwood" join them. Kima (Stephanie Beatriz) says no one has heard from Whitestone in months. Write that down, that'll be on the test. Grog announces their presence with a resounding, echoing belch that was apparently actually provided by Laura Bailey. Is there nothing she can't do?
The group of advisors looks down on them, literally and figuratively, and Kima demands to know who they are. Percy announces them as Vox Machina. "You see, it's actually a rather clever play on words - " That makes no sense if you don't know it's a group of voice actors ("vox machina" is Latin for "voice machine") but it's in the title, they can't change it now. Fince says he knew the fliers would attract "the scum of Emon", to which Vex takes offense. Big Buff Blonde David Tennant is named as "Krieg" as Fince tells him not to bother explaining the situation to these "drunken buffoons", and orders the guards to remove them. "Drunken buffoons?" Scanlan protests, pulling out his lute. "Apparently you've never heard of the legend of Vox Machina!" He said the thing! ("Oh, gods, here we go," mutters Vax.)
He does a song introducing each of the characters, the highlight of which is honestly the inclusion of the "he's Vax she's Vex" running joke from the campaign. (People would often mix up their names due to the similarity, made funnier by the fact that their characters are twins.)
vexnvax
The group is largely unimpressed, but Uriel liked the song. Plus: bear! Krieg says there may be "more than meets the eye" with them, but Kima says they should just call in "Agar's Assassins" again. A nearby guard says Agar had his hand chopped off in a bar brawl the night before. Oops.
While they're discussing, Vex hears a piercing shriek in her head in a pitch I honestly thought they'd stopped using because it gives people migraines. (It's me, I'm people.) Her gaze lands on the way Fince is glaring down at them just as Uriel declares them hired. "Mainly because I like the bear." He's correct. Vex and Vax do a little twin-doubling head tilt that makes me happy as Vax asks for the details of the job - mainly the payment. Krieg says they don't know it is they're killing, but once they kill it, they get a big gold chest. The group is collectively intrigued.
Get that anime multi-cut in.
Scanlan asks in voiceover how they're supposed to get there as the visuals answer him - it's an airship! Powered by big glowing crystals! Keyleth and Grog run along in the deck in a way that honestly concerns me while Vex tells Vax about the feeling she had in the throne room. "I haven't felt that since - " Scanlan interrupts to talk about how amazing the ship is - it has TWO bathrooms! - and why are they whispering like the others can't hear them? Vex: Can't you mind your business for once, gnome? Scanlan: cAn'T yOu MiNd YoUr BuSiNeSs
Allura points out the destroyed villages and farmland, saying if the creature isn't stopped the kingdom will starve. Keyleth says the job sounds kinda deadly, which Allura says is why only the most noble and virtuous heroes should undertake it. Or she starts to, but Vax interrupts to remind her that they're in it for the money. "So it's coin over character," Allura responds. "Not surprising." Rude.
The ship drops them off near the village closest to the last attack. Allura tells them not to fuck it up. They're there to ask around about what anyone might have seen, which Keyleth is doing by talking to the local wildlife. Listen, she's a druid, it's a valid tactic for her. The others, however, are asking an actual human person, fisherman!Matthew Mercer. He didn't see anything - it was too foggy, and they honestly thought it was just a storm. Vex takes over the questioning after Scanlan accuses Fishermatt of...being a giant monster? I guess? Meanwhile, Fishermatt's wife clocks Pike as a cleric and asks her to bless their house to protect it from evil. Pike does her best, but it leaves Fishermatt in doubt of Pike's credentials as a holy person. Be nice, she was only there for half the campaign. Fisherwife says she's sure it'll be enough to keep them safe.
The Fisherson (Max Riegel) gets distracted by Vax dancing a coin over his fingers and asks if he's a wizard. Vax says "the magic's all in the fingers", making the coin disappear and reappear behind the boy's ear. "And now it's in yours," he says, giving the boy the coin. That's one of their last three silver, which probably isn't smart but does make me smile. "Keep it safe. There's a monster roaming about." "You mean flying," Fisherdaughter (Zoe O'Brien4) pipes up. Something flew overhead before the attack, and they heard wings beating, but the storm was too thick for them to see it properly. But it was, according to Fisherson, "reaaaaaaal big".
They take the cue from the kids to investigate up the hill, finding tracks that Vex can't make out. They follow the edge of the mountain, Keyleth slipping at one point and dropping her staff. Vax catches it and hands it back to her and it's cute.
"Think you'll be needing this."
They find human(oid) tracks leading into a small thicket, Vex getting that high-pitched noise again. Everyone readies their weapons as the bush starts to rustle - and a small lamb pops out. Grog busts out laughing and making fun of Vex until she fully collapses, clutching her head. The lamb hops away into the mist - only to get stomped on by a big ol' foot. A big ol' dragon foot, as the creature rises up out of the fog to loom over them. "Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck," Scanlan squeaks, and he's correct.
The group scatters as the dragon fires lightning at them, ducking behind trees (or if you're Grog, just tanking the hit to protect Pike). The lightning crawls up its throat in a really cool way as it fires again, destroying a whole swath of the forest. The arboreal carnage stops Keyleth dead in her tracks, and Percy suggests they run. Right now. "Fuck that," Grog says. "We fight!" Vax calls him a "dumb brave asshole" as he charges in, which to be honest really does just sum Grog up pretty well. The others rush in after him, because what else are you gonna do, but Grog gets taken out immediately and the others' attacks have little to no effect. Keyleth is still petrified until Vex shouts in her face to snap her out of it. She calls lightning down onto the dragon...supercharging it. "Did I just make it worse?!"
Pike puts her divine shield up, expanding it to include all of them, but the dragon elects to shoot the cliff overhead instead, sending rocks crashing down onto them. When the dust clears, what looks to be like Grog's bloody hand is sticking out of the rubble. The dragon sniffs it and grins before taking off, satisfied with his work. Our heroes have clearly fallen victim to Rocks Fall Everyone Dies. Pity, really.
"Let me out! I'm trapped under Grog's ass!"
Yes, the party has survived, albeit in a crumpled heap, under a cage of vines conjured by Keyleth. And Grog has all his hands, even - it was Agar's hand they shoved through the rocks. Pike thanks the Everlight5 for their survival, but Vax thanks Keyleth and her "giant shrub". Keyleth herself is still catatonic in the vine-cave over their near-death experience, but Pike reminds her that they survived because of her. Grog is gushing blood from a wound in his side, which Pike takes a moment to heal, though it wears her out to the point of fainting. Scanlan catches her and they have a cute awkward moment as he holds on for just a little too long.
You know it's bad when they break out the anime sunburn-blush.
Vax says Uriel can take this job and shove it, but Percy says they should honor their word. The vote comes down to 4-2 in favor of fucking off, Pike saying it's not about the gold or the contract - a dragon is killing people, and it's down to them to stop it. Vex says they're simply not up to it. See, when she and Vax were young, their mother was killed in a dragon attack, and as a result she's dedicated her life to studying and hunting dragons. She can sense when they're coming - "a horrid pain in my head". (This is how they adapted campaign!Vex's Favored Enemy being dragons.) Percy immediately flips, saying they'll go back to the palace and get out of the contract. But Vex says she felt it in the throne room - someone there must be working with the dragon. Scanlan snaps at her for only just bringing it up, but Vex says she wasn't certain until she was actually facing down a dragon. She hadn't felt it in years before then. (And she was pretty hung over in the throne room. She doesn't bring this up, but I feel like it's probably a factor.) Vax says that decides it - they ditch the job and just never go back to Emon. The group heads down the mountain, dejected.
At the base of the mountain they reach the village - or what's left of it. It's been ravaged and burned, rain falling on smouldering husks that used to be houses. Vax sprints for the fisherman's home, finding it just as destroyed as the rest. The family inside is dead, with Fisherwife curled around her daughter. But there's a groan from the corner - Grog lifts up a beam while Vax yells for Pike, pulling Fisherson out from underneath. But Pike's still too weak from earlier, she doesn't have any power left to heal, and the boy's hand slips out of Vax's as he dies in his arms.
"We could have stopped this," Vax says. "Should have." Scanlan starts tuning his lute from the doorway. Vax asks him what the hell he's doing - Scanlan is not known for his sensitivity, and Vax is probably worried he's about to pop off with something stupid. But Scanlan simply says he's "looking for a rhyme for 'dead dragon'. 'Cause I guess we're killing one." Keyleth's in. Terrified, but in. Grog is feeling feelings that make him want to kill things. Percy is also there. Vex says they're going to die a truly horrible death, but Vax says they'll die gloriously as he looks down at the coin he gave the boy, now stained with blood. "And we'll kill a fucking dragon."
Pose as a team, 'cause shit just got real.
1 "Why does Percy have a fantasy gun?" The Doylist answer is that the group started out playing in Pathfinder, which has a gunslinger class. When they started streaming they moved to D&D, with Percy's kit reworked as a Fighter type. The Watsonian answer is that it's fucking cool.
2 This show goes really hard on grossout, sex, and gore in these two episodes in a way it doesn't really for the rest of the series. My best explanation is that since the character designs are done by Phil Bourassa, most well-known for his work in the DC Animated Universe, they wanted it very clear that this is not a children's animated product, even to the parents who just watch for a few minutes to vet whatever their kid just turned on. Unfortunately I feel like this possibly works against them in trying to get new people on board, because it's a very reasonable assumption that it will continue in this same vein, especially given stuff like Invincible that is that violent and bloody all the way through.
3 This is the other place I feel like the show missteps, because if you're not already familiar you might very well be wondering why they're a group. All we've seen of them so far is drinking, fighting (with each other and otherwise), and trying to swindle a rightfully angry tavern keep. The investment just isn't there at this point unless you've watched 400 hours of nerds playing D&D.
4 No, you likely don't know these names, but it's Sam's son and Liam's daughter, respectively. Max has a few other credits, but this is Zoe's first.
5 When they started making Critical Role its own IP, they had to move away from using WOTC-branded names for the deities. "Everlight" was originally "Sarenrae".
